Hard Knock Life

It’s been a rough 2009 for me. I’ve dealt with black birds nesting and dying in my shower exhaust vent (P-U!), identity theft, and to top it all off, I’m now forced to deal with adult onset acne. Quite honestly, “adult onset acne” really doesn’t do my malady justice. What I have is serious so I have taken to calling it “Terminal End-Stage Acne Disease” or TESAD for short.

TESAD has severely altered my life, both aesthetically and economically. Anyone ever been to the dermatologist and gotten away without spending an arm and a leg? I didn’t think so. In addition to pricey, non-generic prescriptions, they recommend that you buy four or five of their “products” which will run you anywhere from twelve to twenty dollars apiece.

One of the products I was talked into buying was spring water which, by itself, ran me fourteen dollars. The dermatologist said the water came from a particular spring in South America which was known to have “restorative and healing effects.” It wasn’t until I got home that I read the back of the bottle. It turns out that some leper colony “back in the day” was, indeed, healed after bathing in water from this spring. I almost flipped my lid when I realized that I had paid fourteen dollars for, not just water, but water contaminated with leprosy.

In addition to the dent made in my checking account at the dermatologist, my application for disability was denied, AND the Make a Wish Foundation refuses to return my calls. You’d think they had never heard of TESAD or something.

It seems that my “girl next door” image has been tarnished, and this time, not by my seedy past. My fresh complexion has been replaced with the after effects of acne medication- red, peeling skin still riddled with blemishes. If it continues, I’ll be forced to do what any other beast of the night would do- only leaving my house after dark to scare little children and feed on neighborhood pets.

Still, I hope for the best. It’s my only choice. That’s what brave souls with chronic illnesses do…and I’m really brave. I must be going now. It's time for me to spritz my face with leper water, again.