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Monday, February 24, 2014

How To Know If Your Dog Is On Drugs

In the days since Luke's tonsillectomy there have been many a skirmish to get him to take his pain medicine. He's a strong-willed five-year-old boy and even getting him to swallow the thing that makes him feel better creates a fight. These struggles happen so regularly that we have taken to calling them The Great Lortab War of 2014. 

It was during one such battle that Luke thought he outsmarted his old Mom by squirting half of his pain medicine onto the floor. Much to my disappointment Baxter appeared out of nowhere and downed that narcotic like it was something he was born to do. 

That was the first red flag.

Then I began noticing other changes in Baxter. 
  • Irrational behavior and jumping on table tops
  • Aggressive munchies
  • A chewed up medication syringe
  • Then, finally his new found taste for extravagant jewelry. He surely cannot afford such things on his allowance.



(Borderline popsicle rape)



So what is a concerned mother to do? I've phoned several veterinarian offices inquiring about doggy detox only to have them hang up on me. 

It's clearly intervention time. 

I have already begun drafting my letter to Baxter to let him know how his drug abuse has negatively effected me. I can't find half my jewelry!! I've asked Brantley to do the same, but he keeps saying things like "Turn the TV back up!" and "Have you found a job yet?"

Clearly he's still in denial and needs more time. 

However, if you feel called to take part in Baxter's intervention then  feel free to leave a letter to Baxter with your thoughts and feelings in the comments. Don't hold back. He needs to hear this. 

Lori