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Monday, August 31, 2009

Good Ideas I Have in the Middle of the Night

I do some of my best thinking in the middle of the night. To ensure that I don’t forget my ideas, I scribble them down on a notepad which I keep on my nightstand. What I find written on the pad in the morning is fairly amusing and ranges from chicken scratch to penmanship reminiscent of a serial killer. Either way, it works. Here are some of my best, late night ideas and thoughts.

· Why don’t they make showers that flush?

Ok, not a bad idea since some men pee in there, anyway. Also, this could be a time saver.

· Why don’t they make baby food in junk food flavors?
I actually posed this question to my husband, Brantley one night. His reply, "I swear to God, Lori. Don't ever wake me up again." So I rolled over and thought quietly to myself, why wait a year to introduce your baby to fast food?
Dear Gerber, I am writing to request four new flavors – Fun-yuns, Hot wings, Fried catfish, and Mexi-ranch.

· Why don’t tampon companies write jokes on the outside of the wrappers?
Not a horrible idea. Picture it.
It’s that time of the month and you’re in a dirty bathroom stall. To make matters worse, you have forgotten your Sharpie so you can’t even make grammatical corrections to the wall graffiti.
We’ve all been there and it sounds like this person could use a laugh more than ever.

Now picture the same dirty bathroom stall, only this time, you reach into your purse and pull out Tam-Puns.
You read, “What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!”
After laughing hysterically, you decide not to kill your boss, set your house on fire and drive off a cliff.
The advent of Tam-Puns only leaves the consumer with one question. Do I want tampons with man hater jokes, blonde jokes, or dirty jokes? No need to decide, thanks to the multi-pack.
Crisis averted. Thanks, Tam-Puns.