Sunday Morning Mayhem

It was Sunday morning and my husband, Brantley, was at work. I had a lot to accomplish around the house, and with Luke (14 mos.) in tow, I knew finishing all my chores would take the better part of the day. Early on I decided that I’d put my hygiene on hold until he went down for his noon nap. What did it matter any way? We had nowhere to be and weren’t expecting company.

When I got Luke out of his crib, he was his usual jovial self. He wiggled and squirmed around while I attempted to change his diaper. I could tell he was looking for something and I knew exactly what it was. He finally locates his tube of thermometer lubricant and immediately puts the cap in his mouth. Since his lower teeth came in, he’s been obsessed with using them to pry things open. A habit that has earned him the title of “the can opener.”

Normally I wouldn’t let him continue playing with the tube o’ lube or carry it downstairs, but I was desperate to keep him happy and occupied this morning because I had a lot to do. After breakfast we went outside to begin watering the plants. I wouldn’t normally be seen outside of my house bra-less in my mismatched pj’s and rat’s nest hair but it was eight o’clock Sunday morning and no one was out yet.

I was watering the last basket of geraniums when I heard a voice from behind. “Good morning, Wescotts!” It was my neighbor, Margaret, from down the street. Margaret is one of those people who is always put together and this morning was no exception. Clad in a cute outfit and sporting a new do, she looked ready to take on the world, as did her one year old son who sat quietly in his stroller.

“Hey, Margaret. How’s it goin’?”

“Oh just great. Isn’t this weather perfect? I got up at five this morning and went for a run then drank my coffee while I watched the sun rise.”

She then looks down at Luke, who still has ketchup on his face, a pajama top covered with breakfast and a saggy diaper with no pants.

“Hey, buddy. Whatcha got there? Wait. Is that…KY Jelly he’s holding?”

Having totally forgotten about the tube o’ lube, I look down at Luke and see that he has the top off and is actually squirting it into his mouth. There was even a little residual on his left cheek. I cower defenselessly. “Yeah…it is. We were out of Smuckers.”

With that, the conversation ended and they were on their merry way. Luke and I, then managed to finish our chores. He napped, I bathed, and by the time three o’clock rolled around, we were rested, dressed and presentable.

My family can look put together too, you see. It just takes a lot of time and a little KY Jelly. I mean, elbow grease.