Guest Blogger Robin O'Bryant

Allow me to introduce one of my favorite peeps. Her name is Robin O'Bryant and her website is called Robin's Chicks. This girl is hilarious, and it doesn't hurt that she has the funniest kids in the world. I hope you enjoy, "Fire the Ho" and "Effin' Egg."


Fire the Ho!

I was feeding Sadie(3 mos) this morning and Aubrey(4) walked in the den, fresh out of the bed and yelled, "Fire the ho!!!"

"What?"

"FIRE THE HO!" She screamed again, this time sounding a whole lot like Yosemite Sam.

"Fire in the hole, you mean???"

"NO, FIRE THE HO!" She said, for the third time.

I just shrugged and hoped she wasn't talking about me.


Effin' Eggs

Zeb had to work on Saturday a few weeks back. Because he is the most awesome husband alive (or possibly because he feared for his safety and the safety of his children), he stayed home until around 8:30 so I could sleep late. (Yes, people without children. 8:30 is late.)

I get up, get my coffee, check the email, update the FaceBook status...all of the important things you do first thing in the morning. My four year old, Aubrey, comes over and asks me if I'll make her pancakes. I told her I would be glad to as soon as I finished up on the computer.She said, "But Momma, there's only one effin egg...."


I'm still not really awake. (In case you don't know me, I prefer not to speak OR be spoken to until about 11:30am, but I have 3 kids under 4, so rarely do I get my way.)

I wasn't sure I heard her correctly...."WHAT did you say?" I asked her.

"THERE is only ONE EFFIN EGG!, " she is definitely screaming at me now.

This cannot be. Where would she have heard such language?

"Aubrey, what did you say?" Shaking both of her fists in the air, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "DADDY WAS GOING TO MAKE PANCAKES THIS MORNING, BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE EFFIN EGG!

"Nice. I called Zeb and asked "Was there only one effin egg?"

His deep philosophical response..."oops." Lovely.

*Disclaimer- She did say "effin" and not the actual "f-bomb", it's my silver lining.

About 2 days later Aubrey walks in the kitchen while I'm washing dishes and looks me square in the eye and says "skid mark," My turn to scream.....ZEB!


Click HERE to read more from robinschicks.com.