Getting to Know Me

Here are some fun facts you may not have known about me.

• I don't think it is really possible to "LMAO". However, I DO think it's possible to PMWL (pee myself with laughter) and LTIMBS (laugh 'til I make a bodily sound).


• One thing I wish I could do is...spel bettur.


• I'm terrified of peeing into blue toilet water. I would seriously rather cop a squat in the sink.


• I don't think I've ever had an STD.


• I find it difficult to be serious a lot of the time.


• I haven't opened my own mail since the 2001 anthrax scare. Brantley is willing to take the risk for me.


• I was once banned from a public library, really.


• I'm an excellent cd mixologist.


• I wouldn't make a very good hooker. I'm actually not that nice in person.


• I'm geographically retarded.


• I'm also lactarded, despite my love of milk.


• I have a crush on our pest control man (Brantley is cool with it).


• I'm a clutz.


• I recently beat my addiction to nose candy (Afrin).


• I used to be stylish. Now I only shop in places that provide me with a buggy in which to harness my child. (Target)


• I think everything tastes better through a bendy straw. Yes, that means coffee and merlot. Deal with it.


• I HATE when someone sips their coffee loud enough for you to hear it. If it's that damn hot, then you shouldn't be drinking it without a bendy straw.