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Monday, September 6, 2010

Getting to Know Me

Here are some fun facts you may not have known about me.

  • I don't think it is really possible to "LMAO". However, I DO think it's possible to PMWL (pee myself with laughter) and LTIMBS (laugh 'til I make a bodily sound).

  • One thing I wish I could do is...spel bettur.

  • I'm terrified of peeing into blue toilet water. I would seriously rather cop a squat in the sink.

  • I don't think I've ever had an STD.

  • I find it difficult to be serious a lot of the time.

  • I haven't opened my own mail since the 2001 anthrax scare. Brantley is willing to take the risk for me.

  • I was once banned from a public library, really.

  • I'm an excellent cd mixologist.

  • I wouldn't make a very good hooker. I'm actually not that nice in person.

  • I'm geographically retarded.

  • I'm also lactarded, despite my love of milk.

  • I have a crush on our pest control man (Brantley is cool with it).

  • I'm a clutz.

  • I recently beat my addiction to nose candy (Afrin).

  • I used to be stylish. Now I only shop in places that provide me with a buggy in which to harness my child. (Target)

  • I think everything tastes better through a bendy straw. Yes, that means coffee and merlot. Deal with it.

  • I HATE when someone sips their coffee loud enough for you to hear it. If it's that damn hot, then you shouldn't be drinking it without a bendy straw.