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Monday, May 23, 2011

Dear National Geographic,

Dear National Geographic magazine,

I regret to inform you that I must cancel my subscription. It would appear that I am not mature enough to read your publication, after all. However, with pictures like these, what do you freaking want from me? (Please forgive the image quality. It was the best I could do with my camera phone, and while sitting on the commode.)

All I could think after seeing this was, "Bears Gone Wild."

This is called a Mishmash fish, and it has the most jacked up grill I have ever seen. Not even my oral surgeon could fix this. I'm not sure what country it is from, because unlike my Playboy subscription, I 
only buy National Geographic for the pictures. 

Really? I mean, really? From here on out I will be referring to all penises as sea cucumbers.

...and I only made it to page 52 before Luke heard me laughing and started banging on the door.