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Monday, October 7, 2013

A Halloween Update And Who REALLY Fathered My Son?

Well, just as it has happened the last four years, my son's Halloween costume choice has disappointed me, yet again. I was all sunshine and rainbows over his initial desire to be Steve Harvey for Halloween this year. I won't lie to you. I had even been doing some mustache window shopping. Mr. Harvey has a very distinct mustache and I wanted it to be perfect. 

However, it seems George Lucas has won over yet another young, impressionable five-year-old mind leading Luke to choose to trick-or-treat as Darth Vader... excuse me, Lord Vader. I've been corrected several times. 

This isn't my only disappointment of the week. Thanks to Mia Farrow and her announcement that Frank Sinatra "may have" fathered her son, I am forced yet again to fret over the possibility that Brantley isn't Luke's real father. You heard me right. I can't rule out the possibility that he could have been fathered by Ron Howard, or Prince Harry, or that guy Rocky from Mask. (Cue the Cher music.) We know that red hair came from somewhere. 

Thank you, Mia. Thank you a lot. 

Now I'll spend the rest of the month dreading the possibility that one of these gentleman will show up at our door and look into the eyes of Lord Vader as they tell him, "Luke, I am your father." Oh the irony.

Sure he'll be upset for a little while, but I will hug and console him as I whisper in his ear, "This would've NEVER happened if you had dressed up as Steve Harvey."