Deep Thoughts

I’m really blessed to not be battling the problem of perfectionism. I’ve been excelling at mediocrity since college, but if I had mastered it earlier in life my Mom may have said something like, “Nothing’s too so-so for my daughter.” And she’d be right. I’m very thankful to have dodged the perfectionism bullet. Being okay in several areas is definitely superior to being really great in any one area. It’s probably a fact.

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Deep Thoughts

If someone with a lazy eye gives a "come hither" look, is that a mixed signal?

Deep Thoughts

Suffice it to say, that if you're old enough to have heinous foot odor, then you are too old to be in the Chick-fil-a play area. Don't make me call you out on it.

Deep Thoughts

If you shoot for the stars and accidentally hit the moon, that makes you a failure.

Deep Thoughts

Everything tastes better through a bendy straw, except Alka Seltzer. Trust me.

Deep Thoughts

The Barefoot Bandit could've hidden out in the deep south and remained virtually unscathed for the remainder of his days (while sporting a cheesy mustache, NASCAR t-shirt, and carrying his barefoot baby). Instead, he chose to hide out in the Bahamas where people wear shoes. Live and learn, my friend.

Deep Thoughts

I wish I was a Jolie-Pitt kid. All they do is travel the world and eat ice cream. Jealous.

Deep Thoughts- Sweet Mammaries

Why is it that every time I buy a pair of shorts from Target, the pockets are sewn together? I end up having to tuck my cell phone into my bra because I have no place else to put it. Everyone knows you can only stash certain tools in your bra without fear of short circuiting due to boob sweat. I don't think Target could handle my death by mammary electrocution.

So I ask you, are stylish shorts with pockets at an affordable price too much to ask? Dang sweat shop kids cain't make nuthin' right.

Deep Thoughts

As I sat at Zanies Comedy Club tonight, I couldn't help but wonder something. What's up with all the foamy water when you boil a chicken? I'm not saying I'd wash my face with it, but it looks soapy.

Deep Thoughts

I was in downtown Nashville today running errands when I passed a homeless man standing on an off ramp. He was selling copies of a homeless news publication called, the Contributor. I was perplexed. How could the homeless community have their own newspaper? The resources required to write, publish and print the paper alone would require, well, money. The answers to these questions probably lie within the paper itself, but alas, I refuse to spend a dollar on a paper that I don’t qualify to write for. It wouldn’t be a good investment. And so, this may remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of our time.

Deep Thoughts by Lori Wescott

What a cruel twist of fate it is that the word, “lisp” has an “s” in it. Everyone should be able to thay their diagnothith.