Just Breathe

The Loripalooza well has been running a bit dry the last couple of weeks, and for that I apologize. I have had some personal business to attend to, including my septoplasty surgery one week ago. The surgery itself went well, but wound up being more extensive than the surgeon had first anticipated.

The doctor took cartilage from both of my ears to repair a section of my nose that had collapsed. He also corrected the septum, and removed a bone spur. But, the piez de resistance would be the intentional fracturing of three bones in my face. Part of me is now questioning why I paid money for this??

Luke and my Mom met us at the door when we arrived home from the hospital. As I should've expected, Luke summed up my appearance in three words. "Oh no! Spooky!" He cried as he buried his face in my mom's shirt. I wasted no time getting to bed where I remained for several days, arising only occasionally to socialize with my family. It was during one of these encounters than Luke demanded, "Takey off your mask, Mommy!"

"I wish I could, buddy, but I have some boo boos under there." I told him.

Luke is growing accustomed to my ghoulish appearance as quickly as the bruising and swelling fade away. I am now in 'hurry up and wait' mode as I eagerly anticipate the removal of the splints. I can't wait to try out my new sniffer, but it probably won't be for another week or so. Until then, I will just try to breath and enjoy the fact that my sh@! really doesn't stink.

Love, Rocky Dennis

the Mask

I was on my way to a writer's meeting yesterday evening when I passed someone on the interstate who was driving and applying makeup at the same time. I could make a "farding" joke here, but I won't because I'm classy. This brings me to my question, how on earth can you do these two things at the same time? I have enough going on in the car with all of my drinking and texting, but applying makeup? That's too much. If I even attempted applying makeup while in the passenger seat, I would arrive at my destination looking like a whorish clown, at best. I think I will continue to play it safe for me and everyone else between here and the liquor store, by applying my mask prior to leaving the house. My only alternative is to risk being seen in public with a naked face and possibly being mistaken for Rocky Dennis.