Luke-isms

I only made one blog post last week, but I had good reason. Brantley was out of town for five days, and well, life got in the way. It can honestly say I don't know how single moms do it. In addition to my regular mom related duties, I was left with Brantley's laundry chores. Because he's a good man, Brantley took over all laundry related tasks about a year ago. It's a very good thing because matching socks makes me want to kill myself. However, five days is a long time to go without washing clothes, so I broke down and did it ( I'm a really good person).

As it turned out, I wasn't the only one with chores to do. The cleaning ladies came on Thursday. They come about every two weeks, and I must say, it's magnificent. No one, however, is ever more excited about it than Luke. He follows them around while asking them questions they can't quite understand, or pointing out things he likes in his Thomas the Train catalog. They think it's cute at first, but after being asked, "Wadies, wadies, whatcha doin?" about forty times it becomes a little taxing.  I do my best to isolate him in one room of the house while they're cleaning, so they can avoid him and work in peace.

One of the ladies is British, and cute as a button. She could honestly say, "dog turd," and I'd think it was the most charming thing I'd ever heard. She was in the bonus room when Luke escaped his quarantine and ran to talk to her. In his most polite voice he asked, "Wady, whatcha doin' in dat room?" She smiled and, in her sweet Brit accent, responded, "I'm folding your blanket."

Luke answered back, "I can't unnerstand you. Hey Mom, I cant unnerstand her. What's dat one saying?"

"Umm, she said she's folding the blanket, Luke. It's time to go to the store," I lied.

"You go, Mom. I stay here with the wadies."

"I don't think so."

Hope you have a safe and happy Memorial Day!!

Soy un bastardo

My cleaning lady is the best in the world. No job is too big or too small and she always has a smile on her face. I like to think that her smile is due, in part, to the fact that she is cleaning MY house. “She probably looks forward to coming here.” I’ve often thought. And why wouldn’t she? I offer her something to drink, stay out of her way, and never complain. I’m practically the ideal client. I can just hear her bragging to her friends about how much fun she has when she comes over.

Aside from her strong work ethic and positive attitude, she is also a good listener. Or so I thought until recently. As usual, I was talking about myself when I noticed something, or rather, a lack of something. There was no response on her part. No active listening skills or even a half-hearted nod. Our conversation was totally one sided. What was the meaning of this?

I decided to test her. “Josephina, (pronounced Hosephina) you did an awesome job on the house. Sorry we are such slobs.”

“Yes,” she replied.

Interesting, I thought.

“Brantley and I wanted to get you a gift certificate. Where do you like to shop?”

“Yes,” she replied.

Hmmm. One final test. “Josephina, did you have any flood damage?”

She smiled, “Ok.”

I went upstairs and found Brantley and Luke watching TV. “Why do you always talk to her?” He asked. “You know she doesn’t speak English, right?”

“Of course I know that, duhh.” (I totally didn’t know that.)