Brantley-isms

I’m used to a little static electricity in the winter, but this year it is OUT OF CONTROL. I touch the TV and get a shock. I touch the sofa and get a shock. I give Luke a kiss and get a shock. Slowly and for good reason, I’ve developed a fear of touching things. (On a side note, be on the lookout for my new self-help book, Static Electricity and Why Kisses Shouldn’t Hurt.)

It’s no mystery why I’ve taken to stuffing dryer sheets in my pockets. It gives me that added safety and protection I need to face the day. However, when my pants don’t have pockets I’m forced to tuck the dryer sheets in my bra, and if I’m not wearing a bra, (wipe that look off your face and stop judging me) I stick them in my underpants. See girls, this is just another reason to ALWAYS wear underpants.

Suffice it to say that I don’t clear everything I do with Brantley beforehand, so when he saw dryer sheets sticking out of my pants I was met with a puzzled look.

Me: “It’s to prevent static.”

Brantley: (with an “aha” look on his face) “I thought it was for a not so fresh feeling or something.”

Me: “Wow, what is that about?”

Brantley: “I uh…I’m just trying to be supportive.”

Me: “How ‘bout you stop trying.”