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Friday, June 3, 2011

Weiner-Gate UPDATE!!

I normally only wear politics on my Twitter sleeve, but the latest pseudo scandal by Congressman Anthony Weiner, and his Twit pic heard round the world, is just too good to pass up. So many puns, so little time. Where do I start?

In case you’ve been living in a cave, the social media and news world has been in an uproar over a lewd, bun length, photo being sent to one of the congressman’s Twitter followers. This has left Mr. Weiner in quite a pickle (wink). Congressman Weiner has been unable to say whether the photo is of him or not. “Seems like a reasonable claim to me,” said T.R. Wingwang, inventor of the revolutionary weiner cam. “I’ve been photographing crotch for years. After a while, they all begin to look alike.”

Congressman Weiner has insisted time and time again that he has been the victim of a prank, and I would have to completely agree. He was, most definitely, pranked by his parents the day he was born, when they allowed the word “weiner” to be written on his birth certificate.  From that day on, their son was destined to exist amongst a sea of weiner jokes and teasing.

So it is without shame, that I provide the following crude puns.

This Weiner is in hot water.
It may be spelled W-E-I-N-E-R, but it’s pronounced “schlong.”
My Congressman has a first name, and it’s not O-S-C-A-R.
His republican competition is surely not as stiff.

Whether the photo in question is of the congressman or not, I would like to personally thank him for the heaping help of fodder this pickle has produced.

Tiger Woods, I mean Congressman Anthony Weiner came clean (read: was backed into a corner) yesterday when he held a press conference and admitted, wait for it...that the weiner in question belonged to him! Gasp!! And, that's not all. Hold on to your briefs for this one, but there is even talk of more X-rated pictures.

What is this world coming to when a decent, married man can't send a few lewd photos over the internet, and have phone sex from his congressional office? I'm sure no one could live up to a higher standard.