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Sunday, November 6, 2011

I'm Baaaack, And You Thought You Were Safe...

I'm writing to you from the naughty mat. A good blogger wouldn’t have gone a full week without so much as a Luke-ism, but I have a good excuse. I’ve been busy. Last Monday was Halloween, and I had to function as a single parent. My son refused to wear his costume, and when he found one suitable he wouldn’t leave our yard. Instead, he helped me give out candy after he greeted everyone with, “Happy birthday! Welcome to my shed.”

Last minute tiger costume.

Baxter was a turtle.
Thankfully, I saw NO skanky girl costumes this year! Way to hang, Nolensville. I did, however, have to issue a candy penalty to a teenager in black face. After telling him that his costume was racist, I handed him a pack of raisins, and told him to get off my porch. Brantley was so sure we would be egged, but so far so good.  At eight o’clock I gave all of our remaining candy to a vampire, and we headed inside for bath time, and to pack my suitcase.

The next morning I was dropped off at the airport by Brantley and Luke. There was some turbulence during the flight bad enough to cause an overhead bin to open and its contents fall out. For just a moment I regretted having flown on plane that only charged $59. "Where exactly are they cutting corners," I wondered. Luckily, team Xanax was pulling for me, and soon after we landed in Jacksonville. 

I had a brand new niece waiting to meet me in St. Augustine. This is the part where my blogging took a backseat. There was much-needed family time to catch up on, and I reveled in it. I did too many things to mention, some of which included:
  • Snuggled my nieces.
  • Caught up with my sister-in-law regarding too many things to mention.
  • Quality time with eldest niece (almost 14) discussing all things Bieber and Kardashian, and playing hair. There was bonding over dry shampoo.
  • Got to hear my eldest niece drop the first ever F-bomb in front of her Mom. (Hilarious. With all of the gasping of air, I’m surprised the baby didn’t turn blue from oxygen deprivation. I later got in trouble (ME!) for having consoled eldest niece with, “Don’t get upset. If you get in big trouble, just tell me. I’ll buy you anything, just don't be sad.")

Shenanigans

So that's what I've been up to. Told you I had a good excuse...