#PaulaDeen, Here's Your Boulder

She's slimmed down quite a bit, but I can't keep ignoring the elephant in the room. 

Paula Deen went on The Today Show Wednesday and sobbed before Matt Lauer and millions of viewers. The look on Matt's face said, "If I wanted to listen to the sobs of a blathering woman, I'd break up with my girlfriend."

During the interview, Paula recalled having used the N-word in a conversation with her husband about a black man who once put a gun to her head. When asked by Matt Lauer if she had ever used it since then, Deen said bluntly, "No."

However, the courtroom deposition tells a different story. While under oath, Paula Deen was asked by the opposing attorney if she had ever used the N-word since that violent event. She responded, "I'm sure I have, but it's been a very long time."

Hmmm.

She then spoke through tears as she pleaded, "If there's anyone out there that has never said something they wish they could take back, if you're out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. Please, I want to meet you."  I'm not sure what she said next because I was scouring my backyard for stones, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been some lame excuse about black people using the N-word, too. She wouldn't be that stupid.

A couple of things:

First of all, it's never a good idea to go on national TV and challenge someone to kill you, but I guess saying that wasn't the worst decision she'd already made that day. It was well after eight-o-clock. Secondly, I'm fairly certain that instead of asking someone to pick up a stone and throw it at her, she really meant to say, "...please pick up my stoneware from Walmart while you can." 

And then came, "I is what I is." That was the nail in the coffin. Not sure what she was reaching for there, but she missed. 

The only thing she actually succeeded in was making southerners look stupid, admitting that she lied under oath, and not once uttering the words, "I'm sorry."

So what happens next? Loyal fans will most likely rally around her and she will save her empire by agreeing to work with people she probably never considered in the past. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying she'll be cooking soul food on BET, but don't think you've seen the last of Paula Deen. 

Hopefully when she does reemerge, it will be with a little more class and a lot better judgement.