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Monday, July 8, 2013

A Mother's Tearful Confession: My Ginger Son Can't Dance

The setting is different, but the events are always the same.

Yesterday it happened at the hair salon. I walked in the door with my five-year-old son, Luke. Before the receptionist had a chance to speak, he shouted, "Free, two, one. Hit it!" Despite my reluctance, I followed what I knew was my cue to hit "play" on my iPad as Luke began to bust a move to Daft Punk's hit, "Get Lucky."

Luke was instantly drunk with power. He loved the cheers and applause from everyone in the lobby. I gave him the usual thirty seconds before cutting off the music to proceed with my hair salon business.

"Good job, Luke." I told him. "Those were some nice moves." He remained silent, but acknowledged my complement with a super cool wink and a thumbs up.

However, there was a problem- a dirty secret I've never shared before. 

(Deep breath)

My name is Lori Wescott and I don't think my son is a good dancer. 

Man, it feels good to get that off my chest. I'm so tired of the pressure to be fake, the pressure to hide the shame. My son is a caucasian, ginger, five-year-old, overly confident dancer and I have taken the first step to his recovery. Starting August 19, 2013 Luke will be attending an all boys hip-hop dance class. 

I know I have all of your prayers and support that, with proper education, my son can have moves like Jagger. I'm no idiot. I know the odds are against us. He will most likely be hard to teach because he already thinks he's a great dancer- a trait he acquired from his father. Only time will tell if the instructors can turn his pelvic thrusting hokey-pokey into a decent pop and lock.



The picture above was taken during one of his acting lessons at The Nashville Children's Theater. That particular activity didn't even call for dancing, nor was there any music playing. I've resigned to accept that he was born to dance. My responsibility as a parent, however, is to ensure that he doesn't make a fool of himself at parties for years to come. 

I've been called a hero and a saint, both of which are true. Now, I'm also a warrior Mom. 

If you feel so inclined after reading this moving confessional, please feel free to donate to my "Let The Gingers Dance" foundation. LTGD is glad to accept donations in the form of cash, money orders, and merlot. You can put them directly in my mailbox. 

15 comments :

  1. I love it. I have the other problem. Ahem. I don't think much of my blondie ballerinas daughters' dancing. My son? I fantasize about getting him in some tights and ballet flats . . . or hip-hip kicks and a bad ass Thrift Shop outfit.

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    1. Together we will muster the courage to raise these babies into people that can... at least do the electric slide?? - See more at:

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  2. Oh bless your heart...and that poor sweet ginger baby. I can't say that I understand your pain as my own ginger baby has moves like a college frat party table dancer (she comes by it honestly). Many prayers to you and your family during this time. I hope you get what you're looking for at hip hop class. Who knows...he could be the next Justin Timberlake. I'll be sending donations to your foundation in Merlot form, of course. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk.

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    1. Thank you so much for the wine. Oh, and the kind words, too. But mainly just get to sending that wine.

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    1. Hahaha! I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do for your kids.

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  5. You are one seriously funny lady! Our boys really do have a lot in common because not only is my child constantly singing but dancing {badly} as well. His newest fascination is Michael Jackson...great, right? Not so much when he is no where close to possessing the smooth moves of the King of Pop. At least you've accepted that there should be a twelve-step program {or however many steps needed to teach him classic dance moves} to help your boy -- they say admittance is the first step. I on the other hand will continue living with my head in the sand and praying that with time my genes will take hold and he will stop looking like someone suffering an epileptic fit {quite similar to his father...LOL} ;-)

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    1. Lololol. We really are living parallel lives!! In his defense, it's hard to compete with the King of Pop.

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  6. OH MY MY!!!! Thank you for sharing Lori! You are hysterical.... I have full faith in little Luke.. Keep us updated on his dancing skills! At least the music moves him.. that's a plus :)

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  7. Oh Leah, thank you. You need NOT worry about updates. There will be videos as soon as classes start!!

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  8. Keep us posted! My kids took Hip Hop and maybe - stretching here - they went from gawd-awful to mediocre?

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    1. That's great news!!! I strive for mediocrity, myself. I can appreciate that.

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  9. LOL! Totally cute! My five year old son loves to dance, too, and he's actually really good. I'm fearing the response from future females.

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    1. I understand that fear!! The first time he brings home a girl... No. I can't think about it.

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