Taking my son with me to the DMV was not my idea
of fun, but given that school was closed due to snow I had no other
choice.
"Luke, please keep your voice down."
"Okay, okay, but where are the comfortable chairs?"
"Listen to me, Lucas. Just please sit here
and be quiet. These are the only chairs they have."
"They don't have couches?"
"No, they don't. Here, play with my
iPad."
"I sure wish that baby would hush up. Why
does everybody look so angry?"
Through gritted teeth I said, "Lucas
Wescott, I will take the iPad away if you don't keep your voice down. And,
everyone looks so angry because no one wants to be here."
He responded with a sigh. "Yes, MA'AM,"
before mumbling, "Sure am glad that baby left."
After an hour and a half more passed it was
finally my turn.
"Come on, Luke. They finally called my
name," I said as we walked past a large man with overalls and a mullet.
"Fank goodness because it just started
smelling WAY worser."
Luke sat on the floor while I talked to the
surprisingly cheerful attendant. She asked me to step in front of the blue
screen to have my picture taken.
Luke scrambled up as fast as he could. "I
want to be in it. Let me be in it, too!! Please!!"
The attendant told Luke, "Ok, why don't you
stand here in front of your Mom." Then, she whispered to me, "He
won't be in it. It's just a head shot."
I whispered back, "You don't
know my kid."
She counted to five just as she said she would
and at that very moment Luke jumped into the air shouting, "Cheese!"
"Um, let's take another photo, Mrs.
Wescott," she said.
This time Luke sat on the floor while I had my
photo taken with what will probably be the angriest expression the Williamson
County DMV has ever seen. The faces of rage worn on the burly men waiting to
get their driver's licenses re-instated had nothing on my angry mug.
I am eagerly anticipating receiving my new
license in the mail.
This, ladies and gentlemen is why you should never take a five-year-old to the DMV.
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