Life's a Beach

The sky was completely gray like one massive cloud hiding the sun. A light drizzle was falling and it was a breezy eighty degrees. Since when had this become a perfect day at the beach?

Oh, how drastically my life, and subsequent beach criteria, has changed since I birthed a person fifteen months ago. In my pre-baby days, clouds and rain would’ve rendered me land locked, most likely spending my time shopping. However, now eighty degrees and rainy means not having to slather Casper in SPF 50 every thirty minutes and being able to chase him down the beach without popping a lung.

Rather than fret over getting and keeping a tan, I think I’ll leave the sun worshipping to the teeny boppers, along with miniskirts, wine coolers and dry humping. Being covered in baby oil while carefully undoing my straps to avoid tan lines…quoth the mother, nevermore.