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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Things a Parent Should Never Have to Say


If you’re a parent, then you know there are things you should never have to tell your kids.  If you don’t have children, then I’m sure you remember hearing something similar from your moms and dads.  I got some help on this post from my friends on Facebook.  If you haven’t connected with me on Facebook or Twitter, there’s no time like the present. 

Here are a few things that should go without saying.

  • Why are you eating that worm off the ground?
  • We do NOT bite balls.
  • We don’t lick doorknobs.
  • Come get this snake off my desk.
  • Why did you drink that unknown substance out of a cup left in the parking lot?
  • Yes, you can sleep with the dust buster, but don't turn it on.
  • Please don't lick the chocolate off your hands after touching the toilet seat.
  • Don’t bounce on your sister’s head.
  • Don't eat the faucet!
  • Did you wipe and flush?
  • We don't take our pants off in the liquor store.
  • Any girl that mounts you on the playground is not the marrying kind. Yes, I understand that it was fun, but she sit's on top of a lot of boys.
  • Please take your athletic cup off the kitchen table.  How would you like to eat breakfast with my bra in front of you?