Deep Thoughts

Suffice it to say, that if you're old enough to have heinous foot odor, then you are too old to be in the Chick-fil-a play area. Don't make me call you out on it.

Luke-isms

Easter was a wonderful day packed full of fun and family. It was also packed full of a few Luke-isms.

The first one occurred during church when we were praying. Luke saw me with my eyes closed and made a reasonable assumption when he shouted, "Mom, wake up!"

The rest of the day was filled with egg relays and egg hunting, and after a while, Luke grew weary. That's when bad Luke showed up. He's the one with the sassy tongue, you know. We quickly said our goodbyes and packed up the car to leave. We were about to pull away in the car when I turned around to say something to him. That's when I discovered that he had taken off his shoes and was licking between his toes. Gross. Seriously, gross.
I said, "Luke, your feet are dirty. Don't put them in your mouth!"
However, he wasn't having anything I was selling, and he quickly piped back, "Mom, I'm licking some toes wight now!"
That's when I remembered my Mom's voice telling me to pick my battles.  "That's fine," I said. "But you'll regret this one day when you read about it it in your baby book."

Vacation Recap and A Week's Worth of Luke-isms

Alas, I have returned from a relaxing week at the beach feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle all life can throw at me. Ok, truth time. It was a great week, indeed. The weather was beautiful, and the accommodations were unimaginable, but the company could have been a little better.

As luck would have it, Luke (2.5 years old) was absent, and in his place was his alter ego, Damien. I did NOT let this spoil my perfect week, but it did make things a little challenging. His latest vice is back talking, and like his dear, sweet mother he doesn’t do anything halfway. There were no four-letter words spoken, but his favorite thing to say was, “Mom, hush up! You unda-stand me?” 

Brantley and I considered, and applied, all forms of discipline to include time outs, taking away toys, and my least favorite- spanking.  After about a full week of trial and error, he finally responded positively to, of all things, a stern talking. Who’d a thunk it? This wasn’t discovered, however, until everyone in Destin, FL had received a, “Hush up! Wight now. You unda-stand me,” including the waitress at Crab Trap. In Luke’s defense, she totally had it coming. After waiting fifteen minutes to show up at our table, we didn’t need to hear her talk about the daily specials.

As it would turn out, the advice my Mom gave us at the beginning of the week was right on. I hate when that happens. “He’s just trying to get your attention,” she said. “Preposterous,” I thought. “He ALWAYS has our attention.” If only my Mom and I had been talking about the same type of attention, then Brantley and I wouldn’t have sat on the beach and cried one day after deciding that Luke must have Tourette’s syndrome. “Why else could he NOT stop saying, "hush up?’” we thought.  

So after a week in the sun my brain was finally willing to accept the advice my Mom had oh, so quietly mentioned seven days earlier. Sometimes, the attention kids need is more than eye contact and a reprimand. I now know that a well-timed hug, kiss, and tickle fight can prevent a lot of unwanted behavior. So far, this is working for us. When Damien pops back up, and believe me he does, we address it and move on.

So to summarize, I learned on vacation how to be a better parent, that my Mom is always right (spoken under my breath), and that seagulls LOVE popcorn.

Brantley-isms from Margaritaville

I'm on vacation in Florida all this week so don't expect to hear from me again. Not because I think blogging is work, but rather because I'm having to sit in the parking lot of a place called Harry T's while I steal their wifi.
So far, the week has been super relaxing and tonight we attended a free concert at the Baytowne Wharf. While enjoying the music, I spotted what I thought to be an old girlfriend from nursing school. I nudged Brantley and asked him if he thought it was the same girl.
"I don't know what she looks like," he said.
"What do you mean, you don't know what she looks like? She came to our wedding."
"Lori, how am I supposed to remember anything about that day?"
"Good point," I said.
"I do kinda regret being that wasted at our wedding," he added.
"We all do, Sweetie. We all do."

Come See Our New Look!

If you are an email subscriber who doesn't visit the actual site too often, stop back in and take a gander at Loripalooza's new look.  I may continue to make a few minor tweaks here and there, but other than that we are up and running, shiny and new.

I credit my tech savvy friend, Beth, with all of the changes. Let me know what you think! If you don't like the new look, I can get you Beth's email address and phone number. (Just kidding, Beth.)

http://www.loripalooza.com/

Hey Tramp, Get A Life!

Lori Wescott, life coach is back and ready to address the subject of infidelity.  Spoiler alert! I don't hold back.

I’m speaking directly to all you tramps out there.  To be clear, a tramp is a cheater, male or female.  Many of you tramps get into a cycle of dating/seeking someone who is already married or attached.  Make no mistake. This behavior is pathetic, and if you wish to lead a life you can be proud of then you have to stop immediately.

It is imperative that you search yourself and find out what causes you to be attracted to someone who is unavailable.  Perhaps you crave excitement and adrenaline.  If this is the case, then develop a meth habit so you can go from ruining lots of lives, to just your own.  Other times tramps go after S.O.S (someone else’s spouse) because they feel there is less competition.  Rather than competing with a sea of other eligible candidates, you only have one person to compete with.  However, what this really means is that you have very low self-esteem.  Try to keep in mind that no matter how many relationships you wreck, you will still have a poor self-image.  I can’t stress this enough.  Do what you need to do to handle your “Waaah, waaah. Woe is me,” self esteem issues and stop messing around with S.O.S. 

“But Lori, it takes two people to cheat.”

Cut the crap.  It may take two people to cheat, but it only takes one person to start it.  Remember, no one likes a tramp.  Not even your mom.  And, just because something makes you happy, doesn’t mean it’s ok. 

Until next time, try to Get A Life.

Under Construction

In the coming days Loripalooza will be undergoing a face lift.  So if you visit the website and find it in disarray, don't cry.  It will be up and running again shortly.  And don't worry, it will still be recognizable.